Recovering from addiction is more than getting clean. Then you’ve got to face the reasons why.
Why do addicts risk their lives on a daily basis “to escape reality”? Well, maybe people who ask this don’t have a reality they need to escape.
Over the years of going in and out of rehabs, hospitals, and prisons AND observing people who I found myself in the company of, there are two recurring themes:
ONE: There is Some Type of Trauma
Most often in some form of abuse. Most often as a child. People self medicate their ills and most often do it unconsciously. Looking back, it is very easy to see my trauma. I was in a car accident that left me barely alive and in a lot of pain, with a new rebuilt face, and a traumatic brain injury (TBI). It was life altering. After that moment, I did everything I could to destroy that memory and pretend it never happened. But guess what? You can’t delete part of your life.
TWO: A Need To Avoid Feelings
In order to break the cycle, I had to spend some serious time sober and force myself to think about the things I had tried to hard to avoid: FEELINGS.
I had to feel that pain and just grieve. And cry. And loathe myself. What I learned is that once you feel it all the way through, you can make peace with it. As best you can.
A good indica is great to ease my PTSD. Especially at night.